John Eldridge, in his book Wild at Heart, talks about the questions all men and women have deep inside of them that they spend their whole lives trying to answer. For the man the question is something like “Do I have what it takes?” For the woman it resembles something like “Am I wanted, noticed, and fought for?” These questions are engrained into our DNA.
The issue with these questions is in the way you answer them.
The man may look for the pats on the back, the applause, the accolades. If he does something amazing, but no one claps for him, he doesn’t get his question answered. So he does what he does so he can get external validation, and his question will be answered.
The woman may look for likes and attention to get her question answered. It doesn’t matter if she actually looks beautiful or actually says and does beautiful things, all that matters is if people notice her and think that way of her.
The questions we ask ourselves about ourselves are not bad, who we allow to answer these question is the important thing. When you outsource the answering of your questions to other people, you are giving them the keys to your self-worth.
If there was no one to applaud you, no accolades, no one noticing your work and no external validation greeting you at the end of your labor, would it still mean much to you? Would you even do it at all?
Question your questions, and then question your answers to those questions.
Braden Bristo’s - The Journeyman’s Path 