Imagine you are eight years old, and it’s Christmas morning. You wake up and immediately bolt into the living room to see what presents Santa brought you. When you get near the end of opening the presents under the tree you see your dad sneak out the back door. You finish opening the last couple of presents, and your dad walks back inside with one last box that seems to have been quickly wrapped.
What is it? Is the box moving??
You eagerly open it up, and to your total surprise there is a puppy staring back at you. The one thing you wanted more than anything else. In your excitement you grab the puppy and give it a big hug, squeezing it tight. A couple seconds go by, and the puppy begins to squirm, whine, and even yelp. Your mother’s watchful eye leads her to say,
“Don’t choke the puppy!”
You realize you are harming the puppy you love so much, precisely because you love it so much. You set it down and walk away with a healthy, happy puppy and a valuable lesson about not letting your good desire harm the thing you desired for.
This is the relationship many people have with the things that they want. The closer the object of their desire gets to them, the harder they try to take hold of it. When they finally get it they never want to lose it, so they begin to strangle it in an attempt to hold on to it. They get a feeling that the thing they want is slipping like water through their fingers. The sports world calls this “pressing”, and at it’s worst it goes by the names “yips”, “twisties”, and “target panic”.
Physiologist Jordan Peterson explains anxiety as an increase in entropy. Entropy is the unknown that fills the gap between you and the thing you want. When that space widens, entropy increases and anxiety with it.
This is the point where many people “choke the puppy” by freaking out and panicking, hoping that by doing so they can keep the water from running through their fingers. Holding water in your hands is meant to be done with your hands mostly open, closing them into fist in order to hold onto it will only ensure that you don’t.
Let the puppy breathe. Temper your desires so they don’t overtake you.
We must practice temperance now, in times of plenty, because none of us knows what the future holds – only that plenty never lasts.
Ryan Holiday
Braden Bristo’s - The Journeyman’s Path 