Braden Bristo’s – The Journeyman’s Path

How can you make decisions that create the outcomes easiest to live with?

Victor Frankl, in his famous memoir Man’s Search for Meaning, popularized the psychological practice of “logotherapy,” which helps people, especially trauma victims and addicts, find meaning in their life. One aspect of logotherapy is called “dereflection” where a person will ask themselves what their ideal future looks like, and back-chain the steps they should take to make that future their reality. The inverse of this process can be called regret avoidance.

Regret avoidance, in simple terms, is analyzing your choices and choosing the course of action that your future self would regret the least, or avoiding the action that your future self would regret the most. This framework for decision making is most useful when the outcomes of the choices are generally unknown.

When I made my big league debut, a moment I had dreamt about for over seven years, I had a choice to make. There was no way to know for certain how it would go, so I thought about myself sitting in my locker after the game. What self reflection would I regret more?

That I attacked the strike zone and challenged the hitters? That I was fearless and confident?

Or that I was too fine with my pitches and played tentatively, because I was afraid of getting beat on the big stage in the big moment?

The answer was obvious. I knew I would regret the second option for the rest of my life, so I opted for the first one. This gave me peace that my post game locker room reflection would be a positive one, and I would not only be able to live with whatever happened, but I would be proud of the way I competed.

The regret avoidance framework for decision making helps you assess risk, factor in unknowns, and avoid pitfalls. It is a humble approach that acknowledges some outcomes are not forgone conclusions. You can weigh the cons against each other to determine worst case scenarios and take effective actions to avoid them.

Avoiding regret is more important to life satisfaction than increasing accomplishments.

Shane Parrish